6:30 PM: I leave the house, looking forward to the workout. My shoes feel funny. Why do my shoes feel funny?
6:45 PM: Arrive at the gym. Park as far away as possible because then I'll WALK more and walking more means burning more calories. Yay, me!
7:00 PM: Oh, yeah! Here we go! Gonna work out! I'm READY! Woooo! My shoes still feel funny, though. Whey do my shoes feel funny?
7:01 PM to about 7:20 PM: I LOVE TO WORK OUT! I DO! I LOVE IT!
7:21 PM: Oh, God. I can't breath. I think I may be dying. And my shoes feel funny!!!! DAMN SHOES!!!! Am I getting a blister? CRAMP. Ow. This hurts. Make it stop.
7:22 PM to about 7:25 PM: THIS SONG! Oh, I LOVE THIS SONG!!!! YEAH!!!!!! I TOTALLY KNOW WHAT I AM DOING! I AM AWESOME AT THIS!!!!!!!
7:25 PM: What the hell song is this? I don't know this song? What is she??? How???? What? Where does my foot go? I don't think my body will move that way. Why is "Disco Duck" in my head? Oh, man. I suck at this. I have no idea what I'm doing. Just....um...ok, shake it this way and then I'll just...yeah. Whatever....just keep moving. NOT into the person next to you. Careful...."Disco....disco duck." I seriously look like a duck right now. Do not look in the mirror. Do NOT look in the mirror. I'm a DUCK! No...ducks are less....well, they don't really flail this much, do they? I've never seen a ducks arms pinwheel so awkwardly. Ok, wings, whatever.
7:26 PM to 7:40 PM: Ok, I'm ok. I'm doing this. I! AM! DOING! THIS! Yeah, I WILL shake "what my momma gave me". Is it normal for someone to sweat this much? Am I having a heart attack? I will be SO pissed if I have a heart attack right now. Oh, no....I just had to burp. I'm ok. At least I've forgotten about my shoes....oh, dammit!!!!!
7:40 PM: ADRENALINE RUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7:41 PM to 7:55 PM: I COULD DO THIS FOREVER! I HAVE NEVER FELT SO AWESOME!!!!!! Am I even WEARING shoes right now? WHO CARES??? WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
7:56 PM to 8:00 PM: What? Cool down? No. NO! No cool down. Let's just keep going. Come ON! Let's just...damn. Fine. Ok....cooling down.
8:00 PM to 8:05ish PM: Why, oh why did I park my car sooooooo far away? My legs don't work anymore and I can't feel my feet.
The rest of the evening: Ouch. Oh, ouch. I didn't even know I had a muscle there. Ouch. I need more water. Can someone bring me more water? Because I think I'm just going to sit here until my ass grows into the couch.

Shower, rinse, repeat!

 
 
Picture
"HOBBY/ˈhɒbi/ [hob-ee]–noun, plural -bies. 1.an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupation: Her hobbies include stamp-collecting and woodcarving."

I've never really had a hobby before. When filling out any sort of "tell me about yourself" paperwork and it got to that section I was flummoxed. I mean, really, what could I say? "Reading, breathing in and out, trying not to be accidentally killed in violent and bizarre ways, baking." It's not that I didn't TRY to have a hobby. I once taught myself to knit but it turned into a carnival of errors featuring three rings of failure (IT'S JUST WRONG, THESE STITCHES ARE TIGHTER THAN, and THIS IS MORE STRESS THAN IT'S WORTH).

But when I met my husband (before he was my husband, of course) I became interested in photography because HE was interested in photography. Not only was he interested, he was really, REALLY good at it. I? Was not. Sometimes I would show him a picture I had taken and he would say, "What exactly were you LOOKING at when you took this." You know, in a voice hinting that he thought I had been distracted by a seagull flying overhead rather than focusing on taking a photograph.

Once I got my first digital camera things starting looking up. I could take HUNDREDS of horrible pictures that slowly turned into "Meh." pictures that slowly turned into not bad pictures and now I'm getting much better at this hobby of mine.

I actually opened an Etsy shop which feels a little bit dirty and embarrassing (like what I would imagine being caught masturbating on a city bus might feel like) but I did it anyway. I don't really know what will come of it....maybe nothing at all. And, really, I'm ok with that because  I am a still proud of myself for taking this leap of faith and believing in myself.





 
New Beginnings 04/11/2011
 
It's been a long time since I've blogged and I've missed it. So many times there's been something I've wanted to write about and I excused it away saying I had nowhere to put it when, really, the truth is that I've been doubting my words as well as my capability to express them in writing. The old blog crashed, I don't know how to fix it, I don't know how to create a new one, I can't afford to have someone else create it for me, blah, blah, blah, excuses, excuses.

Enough.

My favorite aunt used to say to me, "Bloom where you are planted." Often you cannot choose the path life leads you down. Frequently you look around and wonder how you got here. Many times it is not where you'd hoped you'd be. That's ok, though. You can still stretch deep into your ground and set your roots to soak up every nutrient, stretch wide your mind and heart and collect every sunbeam. Bloom, blossom, be.