6:30 PM: I leave the house, looking forward to the workout. My shoes feel funny. Why do my shoes feel funny?
6:45 PM: Arrive at the gym. Park as far away as possible because then I'll WALK more and walking more means burning more calories. Yay, me!
7:00 PM: Oh, yeah! Here we go! Gonna work out! I'm READY! Woooo! My shoes still feel funny, though. Whey do my shoes feel funny?
7:01 PM to about 7:20 PM: I LOVE TO WORK OUT! I DO! I LOVE IT!
7:21 PM: Oh, God. I can't breath. I think I may be dying. And my shoes feel funny!!!! DAMN SHOES!!!! Am I getting a blister? CRAMP. Ow. This hurts. Make it stop.
7:22 PM to about 7:25 PM: THIS SONG! Oh, I LOVE THIS SONG!!!! YEAH!!!!!! I TOTALLY KNOW WHAT I AM DOING! I AM AWESOME AT THIS!!!!!!!
7:25 PM: What the hell song is this? I don't know this song? What is she??? How???? What? Where does my foot go? I don't think my body will move that way. Why is "Disco Duck" in my head? Oh, man. I suck at this. I have no idea what I'm doing. Just....um...ok, shake it this way and then I'll just...yeah. Whatever....just keep moving. NOT into the person next to you. Careful...."Disco....disco duck." I seriously look like a duck right now. Do not look in the mirror. Do NOT look in the mirror. I'm a DUCK! No...ducks are less....well, they don't really flail this much, do they? I've never seen a ducks arms pinwheel so awkwardly. Ok, wings, whatever.
7:26 PM to 7:40 PM: Ok, I'm ok. I'm doing this. I! AM! DOING! THIS! Yeah, I WILL shake "what my momma gave me". Is it normal for someone to sweat this much? Am I having a heart attack? I will be SO pissed if I have a heart attack right now. Oh, no....I just had to burp. I'm ok. At least I've forgotten about my shoes....oh, dammit!!!!!
7:40 PM: ADRENALINE RUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7:41 PM to 7:55 PM: I COULD DO THIS FOREVER! I HAVE NEVER FELT SO AWESOME!!!!!! Am I even WEARING shoes right now? WHO CARES??? WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
7:56 PM to 8:00 PM: What? Cool down? No. NO! No cool down. Let's just keep going. Come ON! Let's just...damn. Fine. Ok....cooling down.
8:00 PM to 8:05ish PM: Why, oh why did I park my car sooooooo far away? My legs don't work anymore and I can't feel my feet.
The rest of the evening: Ouch. Oh, ouch. I didn't even know I had a muscle there. Ouch. I need more water. Can someone bring me more water? Because I think I'm just going to sit here until my ass grows into the couch.

Shower, rinse, repeat!

 


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